In last week’s Wellness Wednesday I wrote a blog asking “Are you Sabotaging Your Weight Loss?”
In it, I mentioned that sometimes we find ourselves thinking that we “deserve” a reward, which often looks like sweets or a glass of wine. A current client of mine read the blog and emailed me this question:
You wrote in Wellness Wednesday that when you incorporate simple luxuries (that are not food related) into your life on a regular basis, you won’t feel deprived and that will help you challenge this habit, which is oh-so deeply rooted in your self-worth.
Could you explain how the “I deserve it” mentality is rooted in self-worth? I think this is a self-sabotage thing I do often. But I don’t exactly see the connection.
MY REPLY: When you believe that you’re worthy of caring for yourself, you’ll instinctively know how to make better food choices and put your health and body first. When you start loving yourself more, you’ll naturally start choosing to nourish yourself with healthy food.
When you say I DESERVE with food, the question is “Is that all you really deserve”? Do you love yourself enough to believe that you actually deserve something SO MUCH MORE than unhealthy food? This connection will help you to make better food choices.
CLIENT: I appreciated your answer to my question. It really resonated and I’ve been thinking about it all day. “I deserve it” should apply to many good things, like being happy, achieving my writing goals, enjoying good health and the company of people I love—but what’s deserving about a food choice that is bad for me? That’s saying that I deserve something terrible! Why would I want to do that? It doesn’t make sense. If I say “I deserve it,” it ought to be something truly good for me!
CLIENT: At my brother’s house all afternoon—usually a place where I binge because they’ve always got such great food and desserts. But I was still very full from my breakfast, and although I took ONE bite of a pastry, that was it. Because I keep hearing a voice that says, “How is it a treat if it’s bad for me?” Why do I “deserve” something that’s only going to hurt me? I don’t know if this is a passing thing, or if I’ve had an “ah ha” moment, but I hope it sticks.”
I share this with you because I know that you may also “I DESERVE” with food and also may not get the connection between the I Deserve and Self-Worth.
If this is you then ask yourself, “What’s deserving about a food choice that is bad for me? Isn’t that saying that I deserve something terrible! Why would I want to do that? If I say I deserve it, it ought to be something truly good for me!”
If you wonder why you struggle with food, weight and yo-yo dieting and you often reward yourself with food, this may be a good place for you to start to change the dialogue in your head and make this your AH-HA moment too.
